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Category: Comedy:Improv

Amid the towering stacks of a mysterious Library we desperately ‘review’ books we haven’t read — with tenacity, ingenuity and love. We only judge a book by its cover!

March 28, 2019

13 · Musk Has the Dragon Capsules

"The Secrets of the Martian Moons" by Donald A. Wollheim
Reviewed (but not read) by Khaki & K

The Secrets of the Martion Moons Cover ArtIn which: Peerson Starshine has just been pod-jacked and fights for his life among mountains of Space Guano – ah, who are we kidding! In this episode we tell stories about bridges and brides while imagining a parallel universe where our recommendations and reviews are actually accurate. 

K does some excellent foley work. Khaki names a Welsh town.

Bookmarked passages: the Glue Traps of Hubris, Wotherington Lancelot II(I), Sexy Ginger Chris Pine, Nipples Everywhere, Betteridge's Law, Oprah's Shama, $15 Before Bed, Vampiric Space Bats, Callback To Episode 4, Listeners in Wales, Sex Bomb, Llanfair, Venusian Valleys and Spare Soyuz, Mutton Stock and Leek Futures, Laika vs Gelert, Ljubljana vs Virgins, Hard Vodka Wedding, Stop and Over, and Popty Ping.

"À propos, I would give it some lesbian gyros."

"...which is a bad joke and an FDA violation."

"This One Weird Trick that NASA doesn't want you to know about."

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March 21, 2019

12 · Fish Fingers — Not Flounder Gloves

"Time to Teleport" by Gordon R. Dickson 
Reviewed (but not read) by Khaki & K

Time to Teleport Cover ArtIn which: continuity rears its head, and we learn an important lesson from a disgruntled scientist's journey through time and space! Do we learn from our past and work to build a better future or do we pull our chrono-spatial ripcord and nope-out? 

K practices championship-level technobabble. Khaki has too many notes to comprehend, so many notes.

Bookmarked passages: Look out below, Booze Chess, completely ferschnickered, George the Teleport Luddite, so many notes, last week's CRAB adventure, real life time warp, don't snort red ink, fish massacre,  technobabble, English vs American Kitchen Nightmare, 52 minutes, a story from the Koran, French Revolution — whoops, a little Finnish, a middle finger to the author, Team Pamela, holes in the hardwood, two fish out of five loaves, no good number.

"Am I confusing pottery and restaurants again?"

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March 14, 2019

11 · A Moebius Ring-World

"Multiface" by Mark Adlard 
Reviewed (but not read) by Khaki & K

MultifaceIn which: We're getting really good at notes, and wield them like little sticky-yellow shuriken! We learn about Spocking, meow at a lemniscate, give a poor review to a book we haven't read, and immediately feel bad about it. So sorry, mister Adlard.

K swoons over David Tennant cuddling kittens. Khaki has a bad case of Paper Fever and scores 10 points!

Bookmarked passages: Fuck Essential Oils, Fall Out Pip Boy, Art Deco via Art Nouveau via Pop Art, Gleaming like a Chrome Batmobile, Lemnis-cat, Froot by the Foot, In For A Jacuzzi, Counting the wheels, Space Drinks, Tortellini of the Lungs, When Harry Met Sally: the Next Generation, a happy-ending version of Thelma & Louise, a Good Ring Number

"I've been car-adjacent. I have been party to cars."

Find CoverMyAssCast on TwitterGmail and the good old-fashioned web.

March 7, 2019

10 · Not How You Eat Fugu

"Crabs: the Human Sacrifice" by Guy N. Smith 
Reviewed (but not read) by Khaki & K

Crabs: the Human SacrificeIn which: the Sea Can't Hold Them, We Can't Stop Them, and They're Here to Kill! But a toxin-resistant trainee sous-chef and a plucky band of unlikely heroes valiantly resist the hordes of vicious decapods. Will they win, or are their clams royally baked? 

K does some suspicious Googling. Khaki learns a recipe for grilled bookworms. 

Bookmarked passages: Khaki the Skywalker, Eco-gnome-ics 101, the Pen is a Mighty Harpoon, the Podcast Segue Award 2019, Gondwanaland Broke up, How to Survive Fugu Poisoning, a Good Crab Number

"The only problem is the Ring of Fire."

Find CoverMyAssCast on TwitterGmail and the good old-fashioned web.